- I write to preserve what should never be forgotten.
Tag Archives: Third Degree Tear
It was the winter of 2012. I just pulled up to my house when I started to worry. With me were my baby, her diaper bag, my purse and three bags of groceries. The front door to my house was locked and I had to go to the bathroom.
Those days that was a big problem for me because I needed to get everything, especially the baby, into the house without losing control of my bladder. The shitty thing was, I knew as soon as I stood up, I would not make it. Even if I left all the bags behind, I would not be able to walk to the other side of the car, release the baby seat, unlock the front door, climb the stairs and get to the bathroom. So instead, I sat for a second, took a deep breath, tried not to cry and accepted what was about to happen. The silver lining was that my husband was not home so he would not have to see me pee my pants again.
I know what you are thinking. How? Why? The truth is while it was happening to me I did not have much of an understanding. I knew the issues I was dealing with were part of the package deal I received after having a baby but I did not really comprehend what was going on. There was no education about this in the books I read. There were no conversations about how to prepare my body for something like this. Women I knew never discussed it. I was never warned. It all happened really fast and I was living through it really slow. (more…)